Shit.

I tore my meniscus.

I never thought that this would happen to me, but apparently tearing my meniscus is better than tearing my ACL or MCL.  I wasn't even snowboarding when I tore it.  I was shoveling snow.  SHOVELING SNOW.  NOT EVEN, I was getting ready to shovel snow.  I bent my legs to shovel, and as I did that, I felt the back of my knee twist inwards and my knee locked up.  It was the worst fucking pain ever.  It was absolutely searing and any little movement I made, it killed me.  I had such a hard time moving a distance of two feet back into the house and I sat right there for two hours.



I knew something was terribly wrong and on top of it, that day was a powder day, and also happened to be my first day off work after working like every day for three weeks straight.  I had missed snowboarding and I was SO excited to ride some powder.  I was also planning on going to Aspen afterwards and go see Cobie, so I had this great week planned out and obviously I was very ecstatic.  This injury devastated me.  I broke down crying, because I really wanted to snowboard and I wanted to see Cobie more than I wanted to snowboard.

Sometimes living with a coach can be super handy- Sasha was able to encourage me to try to move to get in her car; it was the hardest thing I had to do, that really sucked.  Every movement made me cry.  She drove me to the hospital, and even though I was sad as shit about not being able to go see Cobie, Sasha was able to make the ride to the hospital a fun one.  We laughed at the people who didn't know how to drive, whoo-hooed when she went fast, laughed when we couldn't figure out of this person was a girl or a boy, and laughed at more shitty drivers.  She did cheer me up the whole way to the hospital, and she pulled up to the ER and went to get a wheelchair for me.  As she rolled it out, I got a really good look at her outfit.  She was wearing her red Moon Boots that she won at a golfing tournament and she looked... COOL!  Girl was WORKING those boots and making them hot!  Red hoodie, black leggings, and big, red moon boots... totally killer.  She opened the car door and told me to get out.

Fuck.  Again, it was hard getting out, but thank baby jesus for that wheelchair.  Sasha had warned me that it might take a while to see a doctor so we brought books.  Fortunately, they took me in right away and Sasha and I cracked jokes that it was because I'm deaf.  We have this running joke that people are scared of my deafness because people almost always get spooked when I tell them I am deaf... so we were like, "Oh, yeah, they were like, 'EEEEEK!!  She's deaf!!  Get her away from me and to a doctor!!!!!!!!!'" Hahahaha...

I was so grateful to have Sasha with me at the hospital because she definitely helped me relax, made me laugh, made sure all the hospital personnel knew I was deaf, and she did interpret if there was something I didn't understand.  I had to go get an X-ray, and that really sucked because again, I had to move around, and they wanted me to straighten my leg the best I could.  Oh My God.  Never again.  I had ate painkillers but they didn't help at all.  Of course, after all that, they couldn't see shit and wanted to try the CT Scan.  That was a little better than the X-Ray, but I still had to move to the CT table, ugh.  Nothing showed up on the CT Scan either.  MAN!  I cannot get a MRI because of my cochlear implant... awesome huh!  They made it seem like a MRI is the only way to see inside my knee, blah... so they gave me a brace, crutches, and painkillers and sent us on our way.

Hospital selfie.  DRUGZ

When we got home, I had to do the painful trek to my room.  My knee was still locked up and the pain was still horrendous.  Sasha, again, all coach-ly like, encouraged me to make it to my room.  Our house has three levels, the front door is at the middle level.  There is a half flight of stairs that leads downstairs, where my room is.  I moved so.... fucking... slow.... the pain was terrible.  Sasha stayed right in front of me to catch me in case I fell down the stairs, but she wanted me to learn how to navigate the stairs on the crutches.  I cried the whole way and I was sweating and felt lightheaded from the pain and almost passed out.  I was seriously on the last stair, and I leaned onto Sasha's shoulder, cuz I was hurting so much.  Cooper came and carried me the rest of the way to my room, I was so fucking thankful for that.  That was a lifesaver.  I still cannot believe how much pain I was in, I had no idea the human body was capable of handling all that.

Sasha, AGAIN with the coach shit... haha... I love and hate it at the same time.... anyways, encouraged me to go pee before I got comfortable.  She told me to try to get up on my own with my crutches.... it was so hard.... I think she ended up helping pull me up.  I managed to make it to the bathroom and pee, but I had such a hard time trying to come back.  I felt so dizzy and wanted to pass out again from the pain.  I can't remember how I made it back, I think Sasha told me to just GO GO GO and get to bed or she helped walk me back there.  She had brought down her awesome icing machine thing, it's like a cooler you fill up with cold water and ice and there is a tube that connects to a pad that you wrap around the area that needs icing and just plug it in and it'll stay cool all day long.  She wrapped that around on my knee and I just sat there the rest of the night.  It was so hard to get into a comfortable position, and towards the end of the night, Sasha came to remove the ice pad.  As she was removing it, she accidentally pushed on my knee and I felt something move or pop.  I groaned in pain and took some deep breaths... and realized my knee wasn't locked up anymore!!

HOLY SHIT!  I felt SO much better now that it wasn't locked up anymore, and Sasha got all excited, "Let's get you to the bathroom before you sleep while you're feeling good!"  I made it in and out with ease, it surprised me.

I sat in my bed for the next 6 days, waiting for my appointment to see a knee specialist in Denver that Sasha had recommended.  My knee didn't improve much really, and Dillon drove me down to the doctor which I am grateful for.  This guy was my last hope to figure out what was wrong because I cannot get a MRI.  He had me bend and straighten my knee the best I could, and measured it.  He also felt around my knee, asked me what exactly happened, and he determined that I had a bucket handle meniscus tear.  He told me that I would have to have surgery in two days, on Thursday, May 12.  He said since he cannot do a MRI, we won't know what I need done until after surgery.  Two things could happen.  One, they could trim the meniscus and I will be on crutches for day and snowboarding again in four weeks.  Two, they might have to sew the meniscus and I will be on crutches for a month and snowboarding again in eight weeks, but this is better in the long run.  Holy crap.  I was hoping for the trim because I want to snowboard damn it.... but at the same time, sewing it up is better in the long run.... so I just have to be okay with whatever the surgeon chooses to do.

They see me rollin', they hatin'! Picking up craft supplies to keep myself occupied

When surgery day rolled around, Dillon and I left the house at 7:30am and got to the hospital.  It was a little overwhelming and scary for me, I sure wished that I had my mother or my man with me.  Luckily I had an interpreter but it was still overwhelming.  I had no idea hospital personnel talked so much among each other (it was my first time having an interpreter in a hospital).  I got a little anxious and cried a little bit, but calmed down and I got wheeled into the operating room and they knocked me out.

Hit it and quit it.  I was out of there after half an hour.  The surgeon said that my meniscus had a complete vertical tear and they sewed it up.  Man.... that sucks because the recovery time is longer, but fortunately this is supposed to be better in the long run.  I still cannot believe that I had surgery on my knee, YESTERDAY MORNING.  WTF.  I hope I don't have to sit around too long.... my bum hurts.  I want to see my loved ones, wah.

I did Skype my mother last night, and she offered to fly out but I told her it was okay since this is supposed to be a minor surgery and all I need to do is rest and heal up, but I kinda wish I did tell her yes, come out because I sure would love some of her homecooked meals.... mmmmmm..... and my man is stuck at work, boo.  I hope he can try to come at least one day, it would mean the world to me.  He says it's tearing him up inside that he can't be here for me.  It bums me out too, but sometimes that's life and shit happens.  

I've been just kicking it and crocheting headbands and coffee coozies... as in reusable cup sleeves for those to-go cups of coffee.  Yeah, I'm calling them coffee coozies!  Maybe I will sell them at Roasters for some extra money while I'm out of work?!  I hope I don't go mad from being home all the time!